or, we do, after all, only live here
This morning we woke up to 1000's of bicyclists spinning their wheels down our quiet country hillbllburbian road, as part of 'Ride Virginia" (a bicycle ride across VA).
Now, I'm pretty sure the reason this road was selected was because it's part of the historic "Banjo Highway". Around here, we just call it [small town's] road. If you go down the road a piece,it changes names to [small town's] road. Mainly because it's an old mountain trail that runs through the flattest parts of the Clinch Mountains and thus, most of the mountain communities in these hills. Which is why it's also know as the "Crooked Trail".
Back to the bicyclists.
Outside of the fact that it was quite disruptive to our morning routine - no dogs sunning themselves on the front porch because while they are used to the sites and sounds of our neighborhood, the sites and sounds of 1000's of bicyclists laughing, talking, playing music - bright colors and wheels spinning past - the doggies are NOT used to and I didn't want to have to:
a) yell at them every few minutes to stop barking each time a new pack spun by, or
b) chase Kuma through the neighborhood like a mad woman because, well, that's just too much darn chasing stimuli to ignore for a Kuma.
But that's not even the part that made me so - disgusted - with these people, as a group.
Sure, there were the nice ones, the occasional wave hello, or "pretty flowers" and a friendly point at the shasta daisies and nasturiums...but -
Here's a friendly tip
When you are riding through someone else's neighborhood - please refrain from making fun of the street names. We can hear you when you ride by.
In these parts, that's not wise (poking fun of the locals if you aren't one).
Cyclist, laughing and pointing: "I think I'll name that street Cul de Sac"
Me: "I think I'll name that cyclist jack**"
Ok, so it was an internal exchange. I muttered the words but no one heard. I know, it wasn't very ladylike or very nice - but well - gosh darn it - we who live in this neighborhood know we have plain names for our streets. We're plain folks, and we just like it that way. And had no say so in the matter.
911 addresses just arrived in hillbillburbia last summer!
Who knows how these names came to be - for years, this road had several names (see above) and even though we live in one town, our address is another (we live on the 'wrong side' of the road). The street that runs next to the Methodist church is named Wild Horse Saloon rd - and it's a dirt service road that no one lives on, and there certainly is no saloon (!!) on the road.
I'm sorry we don't have fancy names for our streets, like King Jack** Lane or Ima Prick Rd, or Tiny Sac Cul de Sac .
Ride Virginia, but don't ride our nerves. We do, after all, only live here.
Keep your mouth shut and enjoy the scenery. And then go home. To your fancy streets.
