You know you live in hillbillburbia when after delivering to this address countless times over the past year, the Fed Ex guy declares, with face flushed beet red:
I AIN'T DELIVERIN' OUT 'CHERE NO MORE!
Me, reaching through his window for the package: Excuse Me?
And here I was, thinking how nice I was being for walking down to the truck instead of waiting on the porch for the guy to deliver the package, because I had seen him driving up and down the road several times and felt sorry for him because it is rather hot and muggy today.....and I *did* try to flag the guy down a couple of times.
I TOLD THEM I WOULD DO IT THIS WEEK, BUT THIS IS TOO DAMN FAR. I AIN'T DELIVERIN' HERE. NOTHING IS NUMBERED.
Me, in helpful tones: Well, we just received our 911 addresses. We haven't received our house plate from the Post Office yet. Most folks around here haven't. But this is the address now, where we get our mail.
WELL I AIN'T COMING BACK.
Me, stifling a smile bc the guy really was a little upset, and me not really sure what we were supposed to do to appease him.
"Well, Mister, I guess that's between you and Fed Ex. We have a home business here, and there's more stuff coming this week."
Mr. Beet Red Ex glares at me and then drives off in a huff.
Well, as much of a huff as a box truck can muster.
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Side thought - Our home insurance company took a picture of our house from space and sent us a letter about some infractions they noticed. If an insurance company based in another state can find my house from space, then surely a local boy who grew up in this area can find our house using a map and some local landmarks!
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The Inner Dialogue: Really? Isn't fed ex um...a shipping/delivery company? isn't this what they...er...DO???
Maybe the fighting chicken farms at the end of the street unnerved the poor fellow....
or on 2nd thought....
Perhaps it was the 125 lb german shepherd on my front porch.
